The Gayest Thing to Get Arrested For

Last night I had a bit of a predicament. I had gone out to Target^® to find a kitty pooper-scooper for Leela & Fry, since I had changed their bedding to a wood-based type that turns to sawdust, and ventured to the media section to take a gander at the new DVD release of “Grease.”

Now, for those who don’t know me, “Grease” is one of my all-time favorite movies mainly because it’s a musical but it’s also because it’s got Olivia Newton-John (believe me, there are plenty of other merits but I won’t get into it in this post). Well, this new edition had deleted scenes, director/choreographer commentary, live performances and it’s encased in a faux-leather “T-Bird” jacket. Target^® has an exclusive edition that’s encased in a “Pink Ladies” jacket. So, I took one of each and looked at them. Hard.

And I had a serious dilemma- the T-Bird jacket looked really butch and the “Grease” logo was nicely embroidered (well, for a promo piece, anyways) compared to the iron-on logo on the Pink Ladies jacket- so I called one of my best friends, Woogie, to help me suss this out. He was on the Pink Ladies’ side of the fence, mainly because it was exclusive to the store so it would have been made in fewer numbers, thereby increasing in rarity over time but I still thought that the T-Bird just looked cool. I considered getting both and selling my unjacketed extra on eBay or something, but that would have just been wasteful of money and effort. Another option was to get both jackets & “Grease 2” (on sale for $5) as well and wrap the Pink Ladies jacket around that (and get rid of extra copy of “Grease”), but I hatehateHATE that movie. Woogie offered that maybe I should unwrap the Pink Ladies jacket and walk out with it and we had a laugh, because I’d totally get caught and probably arrested that really sounded like a lame reason to be in jail for. Granted, I’ve seen every episode of “OZ,” so I can probably figure out how to make a shiv, but based on my rap sheet, I think I’d be someone’s b*tch relatively quickly. To wit:

Inmate (let’s call him Tiny): What ya in for?
Me: Well, I really wanted a Pink Ladies DVD cover, so I lifted it.
Tiny: On your knees, B%tch!

Not very appealing, but we had a great laugh about it. Still truly debating the issue, I ended up at the register and made a decision at the last minute:


P.S. Woogie wanted one of the “Pink Ladies” jackets, too. So, that’s what he's getting for his birthday.